Per the AP, British health experts have begun lobbying Parliament to explore a possible ban on happy hours – designated times for discounted drinks in bars – to stem the growing “epidemic” of liver disease.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, a government spokesman said the ban will be evaluated when an independent study on binge drinking and alcohol-related illnesses is published in the coming weeks. Health Advocacy groups have also successfully lobbied the government to spend $10 million pounds, $15 million American, on a “public awareness” campaign, and wants stricter enforcement of underage drinking laws.

Of course, low price alcohol facilitates drinking in a casual setting, but the implied suggestion that two hours of discounted prices can account for, and even encourage, binge drinking and alcohol-related deaths on a large scale is pure poppycock. While pillorying a successful business practice may be the makings of a Rob Reiner wet-dream, it’s not the answer. Britain should promote a culture of moderation and self-reliance. Then again, we are talking about the UK…

At least the Irish embrace their inner-drunkard. 

UPDATE: More from the annals of asinine foreigners… In the hopes of getting a hug – from a deadly Panda – a 20 year old Chinese college student broke into a bear’s enclosure, and was promptly mauled.  The student, who will henceforth be called “Chow Yun-Moron” for refusing to give his name, is recovering from multiple bites to his arms and legs.

“Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn’t expect he would attack,” said Chow Yun-Moron. NEWSFLASH: Pandas, despite their public image as being cute, cuddly, and Jack Black’ish, are not Furbies. They are wild animals, and, as such, are prone to attacking anything which spooks them.

As in the case of alcohol poisoning, it’s called thinning of the herd. Please, I beg you, don’t stand in the way of natural selection, at least in the case of this jackass.